“The third culture consists of those scientists and other thinkers in the empirical world who, through their work and expository writing, are taking the place of the traditional intellectual in rendering visible the deeper meanings of our lives, redefining who & what we are. ”
www.edge.org
The amount of eccentricity in a society has generally been proportional to the amount of genius, mental vigour and moral courage which it contained. That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time.
John Stuart Mill, On Liberty , 1869
Evolving while in relationship can present its unique challenges. Personal transformation can arise out of a midlife crisis, an accident or illness or a natural unfolding. Whatever way it arrives, the process that is transformation can up-end all habits, intentions and ways of relating to others.
It is unlikely that one’s partner will be facing the same challenges, issues and crises at the same time you are. In fact, it is often fortunate that two people are not traversing the same disorienting and treacherous terrain at the same time.
At a time in evolution when what we know gives us no indication of how to make it through the challenges of our world, and what we can imagine fails to provide a bridge from the present to the future, perhaps it is useful to find a new way to relate to the notion of intelligence.
Whether it is the meaning and value of a “no”, or the gift of rejection, family, school, work and cultural norms fail to assist us in appreciating the value of the no….
As children, if we grew up in a family or culture in which we were not seen or valued, we may have unknowingly adopted a false self. If we have a strong will, there are few ways for this persona to be penetrated. Often, the rejections are the chiropractic adjustment that force us to examine what we value, or what we have attached ourselves to, that may not be from a place of alignment. The more we slam our head against closed doors, the more likely we are to be willing to ask if that direction is our true path. The no’s and rejections may be the only path to our authentic self.